i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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