so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
