oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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