It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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