I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
