Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
you're hired as official boob wrangler
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
