this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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