D3 body, D1 cock
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Randomize
