Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
if i died would you start the facebook group?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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