Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
