i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
