3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
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too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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