I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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