oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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