when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Green mimosas i think yes
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
