Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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