i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
