At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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