My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
two words: eviction party
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
