AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
