Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
the night ended with taco bell and tears
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
tell me about the eggs
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