I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
