ya dads aren't the best wingmen
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
