hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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