you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
