You work out of a Hotel?
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
