So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
