his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize