she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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