so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
