Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Panties = found
Randomize