I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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