drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
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And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
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I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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