I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
