i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
