moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
