i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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