your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
