I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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