I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize