When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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