I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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