Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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