Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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