I love black thongs
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
