So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
The struggles of a small town man whore
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize