wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
