she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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