Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
