Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
