You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Couch. On fire.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
