oh god the rape fog is back!
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
