As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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