'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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