next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
