You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
