You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
