'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
