FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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