just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
