Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
you made out with another girl for some wings
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
