Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
